I’ve lost my mojo.
Ever since my girlfriends forbad me from posting my ‘Good ‘Ole Boy System’ blog, I haven’t had an original idea. I’m scared… terrified, actually. What if they’ve ruined what makes That Teowonna! Teowonna? What if censorship is my kryptonite?
Where did That Teowonna! go?
Black in America 2 is on. President Obama called somebody stupid. The NAACP just screwed SC and my home town of Myrtle Beach out of millions of dollars. I’ve met a wonderful man who has my complete attention (but he doesn’t know it). I have a new gig at OnPoint! with Cynthia Hardy. So much material… and I am still silent.
Am I melting like the Wicked Witch of the West? Am I shriveling like a raisin in the son? Is my color fading like Michael Jackson? Is my voice lost like I’ve had too much to drink the night before?
What happens when you tell the wind it can’t howl? When you tell the trees they can’t sway in the wind? The waves they can’t roll? Flowers they can’t bloom? The sun it can’t shine? A smile it can’t laugh? Eyes they can’t sparkle? What happens when you tell cheeks they can’t blush?
Do tears begin to fall? Do throats begin to moan? Do hearts begin to sink? Do souls begin to die?
Boy, I hate CENSORSHIP!
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Thursday, July 23, 2009
Monday, July 13, 2009
In these Tough Economic Times, Is a Black Man with a Job an Anomaly?
“Tee, I’m an anomaly.” This is what an ex-boyfriend said to me. I looked at my (now former) paramour with raised eyebrows and head cocked to the side, kind of like Chi Chi (my dog) does when he doesn’t understand what I am saying. How can a man with 5 babies (none from me, thank God) and 3 baby mamas call himself an anomaly? He is more like the stereotypical black male, if you ask me. Maybe he doesn’t know what an anomaly is, I thought. But he knew the definition… he knew all too well to what he was proclaiming. “I’m an anomaly because I am a black man with a job.”
The economy is having a significant impact on many of us in ways we have never before experienced. More and more, I find myself going without some of life’s little luxuries, and some major necessities, too. A few of my friends have confided in me their economic woes due to the economy; that is, my friends who are not too prideful to admit they are struggling a little. Trust me; there is no need to be ashamed around me… I’m going through the same struggles they are. Don’t let this blog, my new gig at OnPoint! with Cynthia and my BMW fool you… times are hard!
No longer do I pop a fresh bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon every other night like I used to. Eating out on a daily basis has now turned into a weekly or bi-weekly event, usually on paydays or when I get a treat from a suitor. And on occasion, I have even passed the collection plate to my neighbor without putting an envelope in. (He knows my heart!) So like I said, times are hard.
I woke up this morning and rolled over to kiss Nino Brown ‘good morning’. (It’s mighty funny how I stiffed the Lord but Nino Brown still gets the royal treatment). Instead of a kiss of good news, Nino greeted me with a text alert from the New York Times. The headline read: Job Losses Show Wider Racial Gap in New York. I said to myself, this isn’t just in New York; this is everywhere. The New York Times article said while unemployment rose at a steady rate for white New Yorkers, the unemployment rate for blacks in the city was four times higher. That is tremendous. I imagine this statistic is representative of any US city with a large African American population.
I then came across a few more articles that discussed how the economic downturn is disproportionately impacting black men. The Center for American Progress (CAP) recently held a panel on Black Men and the Recession. During the panel discussion, Stephanie Jones, the executive director of the National Urban League stated the unemployment rate for black men is 11.4%, compared to 5.5% for white men. Wow, that’s double! In a summary of the panel discussion, the CAP quoted published data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics that indicates black men over 19 are twice as likely to be unemployed as white men of the same age. Again, amazing. If unemployment is running amuck among black men, imagine how black children and black families must be struggling… just like me and probably many of you too.
As I read various articles about the gross unemployment disparities, the conversation I outlined above came back to my memory… even though it has been months since I kicked that fool to the curb. But it made me wonder the impact the economy is having on marriages, unwed families and the dating world. "I’m an anomaly because I am a black man with a job." Arrogant fool. Or was he?
Maybe Mr. Anomaly was just a man who recognized his unique selling point in this troubled time and utilizing it for his personal benefit. So I ask you, is a black man with a job such a rarity that it makes him a valuable commodity? A commodity that should be shared by multiple women, taking turns having him as their bed partner? Is this like renting a designer handbag until you can afford one of your own? If the man has a job and pays the bills, are women more likely to turn their heads on his absent days and nights? Clearly, I don’t have the answer to these questions. But it is something to think about.
With the recession in full swing, and it doesn’t seem to be on the upswing, can we expect crime to increase? Can we expect identity theft to increase? Can we expect churches to collect a little less tithes on Sundays? And can we expect black men with a job to commit moral contempt against women simply because they can?
As for Mr. Anomaly, admittedly, my finances are tighter since he is no longer in my life (and SC Student Loan Corporation ending my deferment status didn't help much either!) I mean, I could count on the brotha to hold things together when they got a little tough. But, since he’s been gone, I’ve slept soundly and peacefully every single night. My life is coming together in a way I couldn’t imagine when I was distracted by him and the drama that came along with him. So, I traded a little financial assistance and an illusion of love for peace of mind and real self-satisfaction. Getting rid of Mr. Anomaly proved to be my greatest strategic move yet… dumping penny stock and funding an investment that will is guaranteed to pay off one-hundredfold: Teowonna. The real anomaly. (Even if only in my mind!)
The economy is having a significant impact on many of us in ways we have never before experienced. More and more, I find myself going without some of life’s little luxuries, and some major necessities, too. A few of my friends have confided in me their economic woes due to the economy; that is, my friends who are not too prideful to admit they are struggling a little. Trust me; there is no need to be ashamed around me… I’m going through the same struggles they are. Don’t let this blog, my new gig at OnPoint! with Cynthia and my BMW fool you… times are hard!
No longer do I pop a fresh bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon every other night like I used to. Eating out on a daily basis has now turned into a weekly or bi-weekly event, usually on paydays or when I get a treat from a suitor. And on occasion, I have even passed the collection plate to my neighbor without putting an envelope in. (He knows my heart!) So like I said, times are hard.
I woke up this morning and rolled over to kiss Nino Brown ‘good morning’. (It’s mighty funny how I stiffed the Lord but Nino Brown still gets the royal treatment). Instead of a kiss of good news, Nino greeted me with a text alert from the New York Times. The headline read: Job Losses Show Wider Racial Gap in New York. I said to myself, this isn’t just in New York; this is everywhere. The New York Times article said while unemployment rose at a steady rate for white New Yorkers, the unemployment rate for blacks in the city was four times higher. That is tremendous. I imagine this statistic is representative of any US city with a large African American population.
I then came across a few more articles that discussed how the economic downturn is disproportionately impacting black men. The Center for American Progress (CAP) recently held a panel on Black Men and the Recession. During the panel discussion, Stephanie Jones, the executive director of the National Urban League stated the unemployment rate for black men is 11.4%, compared to 5.5% for white men. Wow, that’s double! In a summary of the panel discussion, the CAP quoted published data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics that indicates black men over 19 are twice as likely to be unemployed as white men of the same age. Again, amazing. If unemployment is running amuck among black men, imagine how black children and black families must be struggling… just like me and probably many of you too.
As I read various articles about the gross unemployment disparities, the conversation I outlined above came back to my memory… even though it has been months since I kicked that fool to the curb. But it made me wonder the impact the economy is having on marriages, unwed families and the dating world. "I’m an anomaly because I am a black man with a job." Arrogant fool. Or was he?
Maybe Mr. Anomaly was just a man who recognized his unique selling point in this troubled time and utilizing it for his personal benefit. So I ask you, is a black man with a job such a rarity that it makes him a valuable commodity? A commodity that should be shared by multiple women, taking turns having him as their bed partner? Is this like renting a designer handbag until you can afford one of your own? If the man has a job and pays the bills, are women more likely to turn their heads on his absent days and nights? Clearly, I don’t have the answer to these questions. But it is something to think about.
With the recession in full swing, and it doesn’t seem to be on the upswing, can we expect crime to increase? Can we expect identity theft to increase? Can we expect churches to collect a little less tithes on Sundays? And can we expect black men with a job to commit moral contempt against women simply because they can?
As for Mr. Anomaly, admittedly, my finances are tighter since he is no longer in my life (and SC Student Loan Corporation ending my deferment status didn't help much either!) I mean, I could count on the brotha to hold things together when they got a little tough. But, since he’s been gone, I’ve slept soundly and peacefully every single night. My life is coming together in a way I couldn’t imagine when I was distracted by him and the drama that came along with him. So, I traded a little financial assistance and an illusion of love for peace of mind and real self-satisfaction. Getting rid of Mr. Anomaly proved to be my greatest strategic move yet… dumping penny stock and funding an investment that will is guaranteed to pay off one-hundredfold: Teowonna. The real anomaly. (Even if only in my mind!)
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Pronunciation is Important to President Obama; And to me, too. Why Not You?
It is 7:15 in the morning and I am in an Atlanta, Georgia. hotel room pounding this blog out practically in the dark. My mother is asleep in the next bed and I don’t want to disturb her with my early morning antics… you know, facebook, blogging, Politico, CNN, and the like. From the sounds of her heavy breathing (I dare not say snoring), I think my consideration is having its intended impact.
As I scrolled down the top stories of last evening on Nino Brown (my beloved Crackberry), I saw that in the late evening hours, Sarah Palin announced her resignation as governor of Alaska. What is she thinking? As I went to retrieve the story from Politico.com,another headline caught my eye: Obama, A Stickler for Pronunciation. I eagerly read the story. It basically spelled out the reason Obama say’s PA-kih-ston instead of Pa-ka-STAN like all his predecessors. And Moo-slim, instead of Muz-lim. Tal-e-bon, instead of Ta-li-BAN.
This is President Obama’s way of being respectful of others, by pronouncing their names and where they live correctly. It shows he tries to see the world from other people’s point of view. Whether you are the head of a small agency or the head of a state, President Obama requires phonetic spellings of names and places to be included in his daily briefings. He considers correct pronunciation to be baseline diplomacy which is important, especially foreign affairs. But not just in foreign affairs, but also right here, with Teowonna.
I love my name. I’m so glad my mother was ingenious enough to come up with Teowonna. Therefore, it is extremely important to me that it is pronounced and spelled correctly. I remember giving my primary school teachers a fit because they tried to tell me my name should be spelled T-e-o-w-a-n-n-a, instead of the way my mother spelled it. That conversation went on for a few days, but ultimately, they lost that battle.
But all educators were not as disrespectful as my primary school teachers. In fact, I recall my high school principal coming to me and asking how to pronounce my name correctly. She wrote it down phonetically on her flash card so that when she called me to walk across the stage and receive my diploma, she would pronounce it correctly. What great consideration Mrs. Blanton had!
But everyone isn’t quite as considerate as President Obama and Mrs. Blanton. Not everyone recognizes the impact and power of something as simple as name pronunciation. Reading the story on President Obama’s concern about pronunciation, reminded me conversation I had just a few nights ago.
It was the first (and only )conversation (so far) I had with a guy that I’d never met before. A mutual friend thought we’d make a nice couple. As a matter of fact, my friend said, “Teowonna, you are the only person I know that could truly appreciate the breadth of the man.” Wow… this man has breadth… I was excited, needless to say. So, I called the guy up, since he was expecting my call. Within moments, the conversation was off to a great start. We both had excitement, intrigue, and interest in our voices. He was articulate, and worldly, and everything else I love in a man.
We went through the whole name thing. His first name is a little unique so I asked him to pronounce it for me. Throughout the conversation, I made sure I was accurate in my pronunciation. And when I felt ‘iffy’, I called him ‘Mr. Johnson’; I couldn’t possibly go wrong with that. We went through the same drill with my name. No, it’s not Tawana or Taiwana or Tawanda. It is Teowonna. But my friends call me Tee, and you can too.
As the conversation progressed, I found myself becoming a little more stand-offish. I wasn’t as amused as I was in the beginning of the conversation. I think my new ‘friend’ recognized that and politely ended the conversation.
I reflected back upon the conversation (as unrelentingly I do of most conversations – a major flaw of mine), to determine why the conversation had gone sour for me… why my mood had changed. I narrowed it down to two things: he never really asked me anything about myself (even though I inquired about him) and he kept mispronouncing my name.
Why, after I corrected him a couple of times, and even gave him permission to call me Tee, would he not make the effort to pronounce my name correctly? My name, Teowonna, is the absolute foundation of who I am. The premise. If you know me, can you see me being called Michelle? Or Patricia? Or Shaniqua? Absolutely not, I’m Teowonna Clifton, dammit!
Didn’t he see my facebook profile? I’m a for-real sista!
Anyway, like Jenny Sanford, I am willing to forgive (but not that Mark Sanford foolishness’!) So, if Mr. Johnson were to call again, I’d put his past transgressions aside (as serious as they were) and we’d move forward and really get to know each other. But if he doesn’t, that’s cool too.
I sigh as I think about our president. Simple things like his being a stickler for pronunciation really build my admiration of President Obama. His compassion and concern for others is so genuine, that it is almost foreign to many American politicians. This just adds to my ever-growing list confirming that Michelle has quite a man on her hands. I want one just like that!
As I scrolled down the top stories of last evening on Nino Brown (my beloved Crackberry), I saw that in the late evening hours, Sarah Palin announced her resignation as governor of Alaska. What is she thinking? As I went to retrieve the story from Politico.com,another headline caught my eye: Obama, A Stickler for Pronunciation. I eagerly read the story. It basically spelled out the reason Obama say’s PA-kih-ston instead of Pa-ka-STAN like all his predecessors. And Moo-slim, instead of Muz-lim. Tal-e-bon, instead of Ta-li-BAN.
This is President Obama’s way of being respectful of others, by pronouncing their names and where they live correctly. It shows he tries to see the world from other people’s point of view. Whether you are the head of a small agency or the head of a state, President Obama requires phonetic spellings of names and places to be included in his daily briefings. He considers correct pronunciation to be baseline diplomacy which is important, especially foreign affairs. But not just in foreign affairs, but also right here, with Teowonna.
I love my name. I’m so glad my mother was ingenious enough to come up with Teowonna. Therefore, it is extremely important to me that it is pronounced and spelled correctly. I remember giving my primary school teachers a fit because they tried to tell me my name should be spelled T-e-o-w-a-n-n-a, instead of the way my mother spelled it. That conversation went on for a few days, but ultimately, they lost that battle.
But all educators were not as disrespectful as my primary school teachers. In fact, I recall my high school principal coming to me and asking how to pronounce my name correctly. She wrote it down phonetically on her flash card so that when she called me to walk across the stage and receive my diploma, she would pronounce it correctly. What great consideration Mrs. Blanton had!
But everyone isn’t quite as considerate as President Obama and Mrs. Blanton. Not everyone recognizes the impact and power of something as simple as name pronunciation. Reading the story on President Obama’s concern about pronunciation, reminded me conversation I had just a few nights ago.
It was the first (and only )conversation (so far) I had with a guy that I’d never met before. A mutual friend thought we’d make a nice couple. As a matter of fact, my friend said, “Teowonna, you are the only person I know that could truly appreciate the breadth of the man.” Wow… this man has breadth… I was excited, needless to say. So, I called the guy up, since he was expecting my call. Within moments, the conversation was off to a great start. We both had excitement, intrigue, and interest in our voices. He was articulate, and worldly, and everything else I love in a man.
We went through the whole name thing. His first name is a little unique so I asked him to pronounce it for me. Throughout the conversation, I made sure I was accurate in my pronunciation. And when I felt ‘iffy’, I called him ‘Mr. Johnson’; I couldn’t possibly go wrong with that. We went through the same drill with my name. No, it’s not Tawana or Taiwana or Tawanda. It is Teowonna. But my friends call me Tee, and you can too.
As the conversation progressed, I found myself becoming a little more stand-offish. I wasn’t as amused as I was in the beginning of the conversation. I think my new ‘friend’ recognized that and politely ended the conversation.
I reflected back upon the conversation (as unrelentingly I do of most conversations – a major flaw of mine), to determine why the conversation had gone sour for me… why my mood had changed. I narrowed it down to two things: he never really asked me anything about myself (even though I inquired about him) and he kept mispronouncing my name.
Why, after I corrected him a couple of times, and even gave him permission to call me Tee, would he not make the effort to pronounce my name correctly? My name, Teowonna, is the absolute foundation of who I am. The premise. If you know me, can you see me being called Michelle? Or Patricia? Or Shaniqua? Absolutely not, I’m Teowonna Clifton, dammit!
Didn’t he see my facebook profile? I’m a for-real sista!
Anyway, like Jenny Sanford, I am willing to forgive (but not that Mark Sanford foolishness’!) So, if Mr. Johnson were to call again, I’d put his past transgressions aside (as serious as they were) and we’d move forward and really get to know each other. But if he doesn’t, that’s cool too.
I sigh as I think about our president. Simple things like his being a stickler for pronunciation really build my admiration of President Obama. His compassion and concern for others is so genuine, that it is almost foreign to many American politicians. This just adds to my ever-growing list confirming that Michelle has quite a man on her hands. I want one just like that!