Blair Underwood Answers Why Black Men Don’t Like Tyler Perry

On Tuesday, Blair Underwood held a book signing at the Books-A-Million at the Village at Sandhills. A book signing? Since when did he become a writer? I must admit that this is the first time I’ve ever seen anyone who did not write a book go on a book signing tour… except for ‘authors’ like Steve Harvey and NeNe Leaks who used ghost writers. As wrong as it is, that’s pretty common place. But this?

Underwood actually described himself as the ‘producer’ of the book, “From Cape Town with Love” which is the third installment in the Tennyson Hardwick series. The writers are actually the husband and wife team, Tananrive Due and Steven Barnes. Underwood says that the duo writes the book and sends him three or four chapters at a time. He reviews them and gives creative direction and feedback. He said, “Basically because my name and face are all over, I have a lot of input and a lot of creative ideas.” In other words, he’s the front man to boost sales… Ok. Well, at least he’s honest!

Legitimate writer or not, Underwood’s appearance in Columbia would be the perfect time to ask him about this ‘vook’ idea. A ‘vook’ (spoken with exaggerated contempt) is a visual book; I saw Underwood discussing the new medium on Today last week. The idea is you would read the written portion of the story on some kind of electronic device like a Kindle or an iPad. Certain scenes of the ‘vook’ (don’t forget the contempt) would be acted out as in a movie.

What? That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard of. And the scariest! Are writers today so unimaginative and incompetent that they must rely on moving pictures to tell a story? People don’t read enough already as it is! Well, I was gonna tell Mister Underwood about himself… promoting this asinine, literacy-decreasing idea.

When I stomped into the Books-A-Million, I was all geared up to tear into Mister Underwood about this ‘vook’ thing… further diminishing the value of the real literature and the written word; helping the paper medium find it’s extinction even quicker. I mean, who does Blair Underwood think he is anyway; promoting this blasphemous electronic poison? Pushing this new-age crack into our communities!

As you can imagine, I had worked myself into quite a tizzy. To maintain my anger, I kept rewinding those thoughts in my mind and repeating them aloud from time to time; I didn’t want my rage to decrease or to forget what I was mad about!

After a few minutes, I was told by the organizer that Mister Underwood was in an interview with Brandi Cummings, the host of WISTV’s Awareness. She told me that perhaps I could get a 5-minute interview if time permitted. While I was on standby, I paced and repeated to myself… “pushing this new-age crack into our communities…” When he emerges from that back room, I’ll be waiting for him, I thought.

And I was! When Mister Underwood walked out, I glared at him with the same hatred that I have for snakes and cheaters! Then, when Blair (notice the change to first name) saw me, he smiles, reached out and grabbed my hand. His eyes said, “Hey, baby. Here I am. Sorry I kept you waiting. ”

And with that, the vook made perfect sense.

Since my pointed questions about the vook (spoken much softer, now) no longer applied, I had to think of an intelligent, yet provocative question to ask Blair. I got my opportunity when a woman in the audience asked him about his role in the Tyler Perry’s movie, Madea’s Family Reunion. That question served as the perfect segue to ask him something I’ve asked many black men before: Why do you think black men hate Tyler Perry and the whole Madea phenomenon?

Blair tried to dodge the question by saying, “I can’t speak for them. You have to ask them.” Now who does he think I am? Some second-year journalism student or something? I’m That Teowonna!

I probed a little further and Blair finally relented, answering, “You know, I really can’t [speak for them] but I can say what I’ve heard. I think for men, when you see a man dressing up in a dress, a lot of us don’t want to see that, necessarily. I tend to look at the big picture. I tend to look at the success he’s had and the money he’s made; the actors he’s employed; the crew members he’s employed. And like anything… to me… [unintelligible] he’s like a family member. So I’m not going to attack Tyler for what he’s doing. I want him to keep growing and getting better.”

Well said, Blair Underwood! Now about this vook…

What Happened and How Was It - Columbia Black Expo Main Event

The 13^th Annual Columbia Black Expo, held at the Colonial Life Arena, proved to be one of the best events this spring, and the best expo ever. Thomas Media, who hosted the event, found the perfect balance of information, business-promotion, youthful energy, talent, and celebrity. Like any good media/marketing firm, Thomas Media knew exactly who their audience was and gave everyone what they wanted.

Information. Early in the day, various business seminars were held, including Finding a Career in Today’s Society and Let’s Get Energy Wise. It was a smart move to make the seminars the first event of the day so that attendees and business owners could get the structured portion of the event out of the way and enjoy the rest uninhibitedly. It’s kind of like going to the 8:00 am church service so you can enjoy the rest of your Sunday guilt-free.

Business. If you are a large or small business-owner, public service entity, or strive to have any kind of public presence and missed the Black Expo, what a tremendous mistake you have made. This was the best possible opportunity to get up close and personal with one of the fastest-growing consumer markets in Columbia. There isn’t a single business in the Midlands that could not have benefitted from the exposure and networking opportunities that this year’s Black Expo afforded.

The businesses that faired the best at the expo were those who got up out of their chairs and stopped texting long enough to engage with attendees in a meaningful way. And having something interesting, tasty, or free to offer helped also! Cake South, which is opening a store at Sparkleberry Crossing, proved to be very popular at the event. They sold huge slices of red velvet cake that had to be shared with three others just to finish it.

While Cake South showed how to debut a business with an awesome product, Shonna Williams of Jaas Jewelry and Things, demonstrated that personality and customer service, coupled with a great product, are an unbeatable combination. Having walked out of the house without my earrings, I vowed to purchase a pair at the first vendor I saw once I got inside. That vendor was Shonna Williams. She greeted me warmly and showed me the last pair of earrings she had for sale. When I searched my pockets, I found that I was $2 short of the purchase price. Since I had already put the earrings in my ear, Williams told me to keep them and bring the money when I come back through. That was a smart business move as it earned her a spot in my article and a loyal customer that will spend far more than $2 on my next visit.

Youthful energy. PYNK Signature Salon and Spa proved to be another popular booth. They not only provided salon services on the spot, they also had the prettiest girls parading around, drawing both men and women to their booth! That’s what I call out-of the-box thinking.

Talent. This year’s addition of the Gospel Best Competition proved to be one of Thomas Media’s smartest moves. Similar to BET’s Sunday Best, the competition started off with 50 groups competing for a $10,000 prize. After a final performance on Saturday, judges awarded the huge cash prize to John Lakin.. The gospel competition drew thousands of attendees who not only got to see all of Columbia’s gospel superstars under one roof, but witnessed the wild antics of David Mann, more commonly known as Mr. Brown. That brings me to the last component on the 2010 Black Expo magic formula.

Celebrity. The oddly-successful couple, Tamala and David Mann, was the perfect hosts for the Gospel Best competition. Mr. Brown (David Mann) was out in full effect with his signature mix-matched clothes and over-the-top behavior while (Cora) Tamala Mann was as beautiful and graceful as ever. Those who were patient enough to stand in a line that snaked half-way around the Colonial Life Arena, were paid with an autographed church fan.

Tasha Smith and Doc Shaw, both of Tyler Perry fame, also had their fair share of fanfare with impressive autograph lines. In case you are wondering, Tasha Smith is even more beautiful in real life than on TV.

Chrisette Michelle was the last celebrity to perform at the Saturday event. And quite the celebrity she was. In fact, I think I saw a woman get a little upset when her boyfriend pushed her aside to get a better peek at the powerhouse beauty. While Chrisette was a vision for the men to behold, she performed to the ladies. She sang a song for every phase of a woman’s love. She sang of love’s evasiveness and sweetness, as well the loss of love. She gave a man permission to blame it on her for the benefit of ending the relationship just before she begged another not to leave her because she was fragile. She truly told a story for every woman in the audience.

The numbers 13 and 2010 should go down in Thomas Media history. That’s because the 13th Annual Black Expo is the one that they got it exactly right and 2010 is the year they found the magic formula. Good luck 14 and 2011.

What Happened and How Was It - The Black Expo Gala Concert

For the second year in a row, I scored two VIP tickets that afforded me and a selected guest an opportunity to attend the Black Expo Gala in grand fashion. When I say grand, I mean delicious food and free premium liquor. Side note: If you thought Crown Royal was good, you haven’t tasted anything until you have a run with Crown Black. If you are a mixed drink kind of a guy/gal, do yourself a favor and do this one over ice. Don’t ruin this good liquor with a mixer.

Anyway, after helping myself to all the delicious offerings, I found my seat and braced myself for the show. The show was supposed to consist of Will Downing and Boney James. When a car accident on Thursday rendered James unable to attend, Thomas Media group skillfully filled the opening with the legendary Roy Ayers and the uncompromised Lalah Hathaway. As revered of a jazz artist Boney James is, the final lineup of artists actually was the better combination.

Roy Ayers, serving as the opening act, expertly played the xylophone. If your memory faltered for a moment and you forgot the jazz force that Ayers is, you were quickly reminded when heard the ‘doo-be doo, run, run, run’ of “Running Away” and the heavily sampled “Everybody Loves the Sunshine”. Ayers, his band and his lead vocalist John Pressley, had everyone wiggling in their seats. You know you are at a mature concert when you leave an event sweat-free and you still had a wonderful time.

I definitely had a wonderful time when Roy Ayers hooked a sista up with some sugar on her cheek. Don’t hate!

Next up was Lalah Hathaway. She entered the stage in a tiered sequin number that I didn’t care very much for. As laid back as her stage performance was, she could have come out in something much more casual and comfortable and it would not have taken away at all. But when she opened her mouth and uttered her first musical sounds, I thought: ‘how can the human voice do that?’ Hathaway’s voice was uniquely melodious as it went from floating on an ever-so calm wave to leaping, jumping and dashing over the river and through the woods with extreme ease. She sang many of her most popular tones, but clearly not enough for her fans. Her jazzy rendition of George Gershwin’s “Summertime” not only displayed her talent but that of her background singers and musicians as well. And when she crooned Luther Vandross’ “Forever, For Always, For Love” (which was her first number one hit) everyone believed that love could last forever.

My final thought about Hathaway was that she did her deceased father, Donnie Hathaway, proud. She’s living the dream we all had for him.

And finally, it was time for the headliner, Will Downing When Downing glided on the stage, all the ladies simultaneously sank down four inches into their seats.I wonder how the men felt to see their women (s)cream over another man.

Back to Will… Beautiful. Immaculately dressed. Charismatic. Fine… all of that rolled into one. He sang his most popular songs including the one that made me fall in love with him my senior year in high school, “Crazy”. He didn’t sing “I Try” another of my favorites. But, I unlike others, understand that an artist can’t sing every single one of his hits… they just can’t! So don’t complain; just enjoy what you got.

It is clear that shows like Downing’s are primarily for women. Few men would claim to be such a fan that they would go to this kind of show alone. But there were a ton of single women there by themselves or with girlfriends. Any woman that didn’t go with a man got cheated because her ticket price should have guaranteed her some good loving that night. But for men who went with a date, trust me, I think they will agree, that that was the best money they’ve spent in a long time.

What Happened and How Was It – The Columbia Black Expo Opening Reception and Auction

On Thursday night, I attended the opening reception and auction for the SC Black Expo. Since this was an invitation-only event, I’m sure many of you did not attend. But that’s what That Teowonna! is here for… to answer the questions: What Happened and How Was It.

First, let’s talk about the auction. There were a number of items and ‘packages’ put together by area entities and businesses up for bid. The types of items were: Art by Ernest Lee The Funky Chicken Man and packages for services like: HVAC, pest control, dental services, carpet cleaning and many more. Other packages for spa services, and week-end get-a-ways were also auctioned off. There was even a package that consisted of two Maxwell concert tickets and an overnight stay in the Columbia Marriott. Nice. The proceeds of the event went to support Palmetto Health Cancer Research.

The reception also served as the unveiling of the Columbia Edition 2010-2011 Black Pages. To be honest with you, when they said they were going to ‘unveil’ the new who’s who book, I thought they were unveiling some kind of a masterpiece. Actually,.it turned out to be just more of the same ole’ same ole. It highlights all of the 'top' movers and shakers in Columbia… the current and rising stars. But what is conspicuously missing are sections like: Who in Public Service; Who’s Who in Community Activism; Who’s Who in Volunteerism; Who’s Who is Mentorship. I know some people who are doing some great work for the people of Columbia who should be recognized. Man, what does it take to get recognition for good deeds in this publication? A $1000 ad?

Now that that’s been said… let’s talk about the event itself… off the chain. I can’t even lie; I had a fabulous time. Here are the best things about the evening:

1. The Music. From the moment you walked through the door, you were engulfed in the smooth jazz sounds of the Phase of a Pulse band, featuring an outstanding lead vocalist. The music helped to set the mood for the evening that ensued. When the vocalist broke out in George Gershwin’s “Summertime”, I knew I was in the right place. But I do have one thing to say about the music that is neither a compliment nor a criticism… just an observation: Can black people ever have a single event without the electric slide? I mean damn.

2. The Venue. The event was held at 701 Whaley Street in the historic Olympia district. For those of you who don’t know, 701 Whaley Street isn’t only the address, it is also the name of the building. This artsy venue was the best possible location for this event as it had just the right combination of space, swagger, upscaledness, down-to-earthness, and culture. The atmosphere that this place created propelled this event into the memorable category for me… memorable good, not memorable trifling!

3. The Food. Absolutely delish . Everyone I talked to was raving about the cuisine that was expertly prepared and served by Houston’s Enterprise Catering. I mean, Frank and Millie Houston really put their foot in it. As the meeting planner for the best insurance company in the whole southeastern region, I have been to some swanky receptions. Heck, I’ve planned some swanky receptions. But that was without a doubt some of the best reception food I’ve ever had…absolutely superb. Houston’s will definitely be hearing more from me.

4. The Art. In addition to the art being auctioned off, there were excellent pieces displayed on the walls of 701 Whaley Street. No offense to Ernest Lee The Funky Chicken Man, but I wish there were more of a variety of art up for auction, like that of local artists Keith Tolen and Schring Khaka, both of whom I had the pleasure of meeting. There was one piece by Keith Tolen that literally jumped off of the wall. When you are in the area, go by 701 Whaley Street and take a look at it… you will know exactly which one I am talking about. The other piece of art that got my attention was a paint/varnished wood piece by Schring KhaRa. (It’s times like these that I wish I had not dropped Art History in college.) That piece has my name written all over it! As a matter of fact, I’m certain that Schring channeled That Teowonna! when she working on it. That piece is so me that I’m not going to talk about it anymore for fear ya’ll might go scoop it up before I can raise the money to buy it.

5. The Crowd. This invitation-only event managed to muster up some of Columbia’s finest. Seeing as how I didn’t get a formal invitation, I think the event host, Thomas Media, needs to update their who's who list. But much to your amusement, as a bona fide member of the media, I was there by default. Ha-ha. Anywho, I saw local who’s who: doctors, lawyers, politicians, businessmen… blah blah blah. All those who make an event an event. All those who always receive recognition, therefore, I don’t need to do it today.

But much to my delight, I ran into Columbia’s #1 Who’s Who right now: Mayor-elect Steve Benjamin. Mayor-elect Benjamin and I had a brief but confirming conversation. He said he read and loved the blog I wrote last week, Columbia’s Play Play Elite Fired Chief Tandy. Now, to keep him out of trouble, he didn’t say he agreed with my assessment. But he didn’t say that he disagreed either! What our conversation confirmed for me was that I have a voice worth listening to and write words that are being read. Thank you, Mayor-elect Benjamin. I appreciate you and look forward to a brighter Columbia under your leadership. Just know that when I write about you, which I will eventually do, please remember that I have a voice worth listening to and write words that are read.

Columbia’s Play-Play Elite Fired Chief Tandy

Earlier this week, I was floored when I got a text message from WLTX alerting me that Columbia’s city manager, Steve Gantt, had fired the city police chief, Tandy Carter. Say what? Hasn’t Tandy only been serving the City for six months? Actually, it’s been more like two years, but after paying a search firm $10,000 to find him and paying him a more than 100k a year, it may as well be only six months.

After I picked my bottom lip up off the floor, I logged on to see what the reason was behind the termination. Did Tandy kill someone? Steal something? Deal drugs out of his SUV and extorted money from drug dealers? Run off with his mistress and not tell anyone? Federal tax evasion? Get his mama to take out a loan for city funds? What? Surely not because he refused to turn the investigation of the Benjamin/Rubens car accident case over to another agency. Surely not. But that’s exactly what it was!

Well, I’ll be…

It appears City Council members wanted the investigation to be turned over to another agency to avoid the appearance of a conflict of interest. Tandy refused to turn over the case because he said that his police department was more than capable of running an honest and unbiased investigation. He further said that the departmental investigation was well within his scope of his duties. After all, Mayor-elect Benjamin is still a regular citizen until he takes office in June.

Makes perfect sense to me. But that rationale wasn’t good enough for City Council members… they wanted Tandy to jump when they said jump. They wanted Tandy to do what they wanted him to do, rather than what was within his professional discretion.

That’s the problem with Columbia, and it has been for quite a while. In Tandy’s press conference, he made reference to a report released by a community panel, led by SC Supreme Court Chief Justice Ernest Finney. The report was critical of Police Department operations, saying that many of the problems of the department resulted from City Council members meddling in police decisions. And it seems the firing of Tandy proves the Finney Report right.

The Columbia Police Department needs an outsider who doesn’t have any of the good ole’ boy alliances and ties. The search firm found exactly what Columbia needed when they found Tandy Carter two years ago… a strong, experienced, professional, well-credentialed police chief who could do his job without feeling bullied by City Council. Unfortunately, the Council is just too full of itself and its elitist status to recognize it!

Elitist status? Yes! Elitist status. You see, South Carolina (Columbia, in particular) does not have a real elite class. We do not have a professional sports team. No NBA team. No NFL franchise. No large cultural scene. No significant presence of the Arts. No rap stars. No reality show stars. Nothing. We are smack dab in the middle of Atlanta and Charlotte, both of which have all of those things, yet we don't. We couldn’t even sustain the Three Rivers Music Festival. We can’t even get the NCAA to bring their tournaments here; much less bring a professional sports team here!

So, in absence of high-profile athletes, rap artists, business tycoons, and cultural artists, the Columbia professional became our elite class. That includes our media personalities, local politicians, young lawyers and doctors, House of Representative members and City Council members.

In larger cities where there are professional athletes and other ‘bona fide ballers’, it is common to come in contact with those oversized personalities and egos… those that have a false sense of entitlement; want something for free; want the room to stop when they walk in. But since we don’t have the real thing here, our play-play elite takes on that role. Have you ever noticed how when certain members of the House, Bar and media walk into a room, they stop and look around to see who is watching them? Play-play elite.

That’s why Chief Tandy was fired. Because Columbia’s play-play elite wanted him to dance to their music. And he refused. And if we continue to allow the city to be run this way, that’s all Columbia will ever have; play-play elite.

Man versus Man

For the most part, I’ve always dated older men. Well, while I was in high school and college, I dated high school and college guys. But after college, I started dating men who were at least ten years older than me right away. It wasn’t something that I sought; older men just seemed to be more attracted to me… or at least more willing to approach.

After years of dating older men (and marrying one), I recently made the contentious decision to start dating younger men. Why after so many years would I make a lifestyle change? Well, as I get older and start contemplating getting married again (and making babies), I figure the closer the man is to my age, the better. You know, its natural to want to have someone to grow old with instead of someone who will grow old a season or two ahead of you. And another reason, (probably just as compelling) now that I’m 37 years old, I think 40-year old little baby-making organisms are better than 55-year old little baby-making organisms.

Did you notice that I called it a lifestyle change? That’s because dating younger men seems to be just that different me. Since I’ve been dating younger men (and by younger I mean men who are 2 to 6 years older than me) I can see a tremendous difference in dating the two different age groups of men. Just this weekend, for example, I had a get together at my house to watch the Mayweather-Sweet Daddy Sugar Shane Moseley fight. I guess you can tell who I was rooting for. An old friend of mine came by with a couple of his buddies. He brought several cases of beer and bags of ice with him. Since I had not anticipated beer, I had not cleaned out my cooler in advance. So he got the cooler from the back deck and started cleaning it up. When I chipped in to help, he said, “No Sweet Tee, let me take care of this. You go on around there and entertain, I will handle this.”

That made me feel so good! Even though I haven’t dated this man in years, when he came over, he had no problem seeing something that needed to be done and just doing it.

The following day, a friend from college swung by on his way back home. He came by to say ‘hello’ since we have recently gotten reacquainted through the miracle of facebook.(Thank you, facebook!) Now, this dude and I are not dating by no means, but I know he is scoping a sista out... that is until he reads this blog!

Well, dude and I caught up and talked about things of yesteryear as we grilled a couple of NY strips on the back deck. Even though my girlfriends had helped me tidy up a bit the night before, there were still a ton of beer bottles and other party remnants that needed to be taken to the curb for trash pickup. I asked my friend to help me take the trash to the road. When I asked for his help, I exoected to hear, “Ok.” Instead, I got, “What? I came here to rest!”

Needless to say, my radar went up and I must admit I was a little turned off (and teed off) by that. I’m just not accustomed to hearing that. The men I’ve dealt with or should I say the age group of men that I generally deal with, would never say that to me. I honestly believe older men felt it was their duty, honor and pleasure to help me. The older men that I dated NEVER complained when I asked then for something. Even more so, with all the trash and bottles that were left from the night before, I wouldn’t have had to ask for them to help. They would have seen the trash and would have asked, “Where is your herbie curbie?” I’ve NEVER asked an older man to take my trash out, or mow my lawn, or check the oil in my car… they just did it.

So, now that I’m dating younger men (and there are many advantages to that), I wonder, am I going to have to trade in chivalry and being treated like a lady and feeling like I’m not out here alone for some healthy sperm? Dang… that’s quite a tradeoff.

So below, I’ve put together some real life examples of older men and younger men that I had dated.

Older man: Had a key to my car since I have a special knack for locking the keys in the car. When I walked out of my building after work, I often found a sparkling clean car with a full tank of gas waiting for me.
Young man: ‘Borrowed’ my car and stayed gone all day. And then brought it back on ‘E’. Punk!

Older man: “Baby, where is your shovel? You really need to get your grape vine up off the ground so that your fruit won’t rot. It won’t take me but a minute to dig a hole and put your post back in the ground.”
Younger man: “You ate up all the grapes?”

Older man: “Baby, I’m gonna call my yard man and send him by here tomorrow to mow your lawn.”
Younger man: Just ignored the foot-high grass. Punk!

Am I expecting too much? Do older men have me spoiled and I just need to accept that younger men don’t do those kinds of things unless I ask… or beg? Or maybe not at all!

Now, there are a lot of positives to dating younger men. I want all the positives of dating younger men and to be treated like the superstar that I am. Or do you have to be 50 and older to recognize a susperstar?