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Ode to Edwin Clifton - A Young Wife Grows Up
That Teowonna!
Friday, October 23, 2009
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Today makes 10 years since I said 'I do' to Edwin Clifton. Ten years! Unfortunately, my husband died 6 years ago. On this day, I can't help but wonder what my life would be like if he was alive. I'm sitting at a high school football game with friends watching their sons race up and down the field. (Actually, they are watching; I'm blogging, hence any errors you may see). I wonder, if 'Pop' were alive, would we be cheering on our own little player or cheerleader at a Little League game. Or would we have our little one at the movie theatre watching 'Where the Wild Things Are' tonight? Would there even be a little one?
Would we be home relaxing or arguing? Would we be making love or in bed with our backs to each other? Would we be celebrating our milestone or cursing the day we met? Would we be in a happy season of our lives or in a challenging one?
Here is the state of Teowonna Clifton today: I have a job that I love, a communications specialist for an insurance company. I have a number of extra-curricular activities and projects that are growing and displaying my best qualities. I produce a radio talk show; I have a blog; I am a newspaper and book editor; I will even launch my own BlogTalkRadio show next year. Not bad, if I say so myself. (As you can see, I don't have a modest bone in my body). Many of these things I know probably would not be a reality if Pop were alive, but I wonder what other wonderful things would be replacing them. A marriage? A husband? Children? A family?
I really wish Pop could see the woman that I am today; the woman that time, maturity and experience has created. The woman who used to rebel against his authority now recognizes the value of a strong man. The woman who saw career as a way to distinguish herself now sees career as a way to advance the family. The woman who felt his words of caution stifled her creativity now craves his guidance. The woman who was too tired at night now longs for his soothing touch. The woman who had the attention of many now would love to only have his. That 26 year-old young wife is now a grown woman.
Time has brought me wisdom that money can not be purchase. Time has shown me there is nothing like a man who is ready to be a husband; a man I can trust and count on; a man who would rather die than lie or cheat. Funny how I didn't recognize what I had until I didn't have it anymore; until I experienced the alternative. My husband was far from perfect, but at least I knew what I had. Nowadays, there are façades of men... few real men actually exist.
My husband was so right about so many things. I regret he is not here to tell him.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
5 comments
Each October 8th for the past 13 years, and at other times, I've often reflected on the similar. What would my only child, a son, have become if he were here? He would be 31. Would he still beliving at home? LOL! Would he be married? Would I have a grandchild? It's normal to reflect on all these things but for my own sanity I try to avoid looking in the rearview window. I instead choose to be grateful forthose 18 years when that little boy who tuirned into a beautiful youngman called me Mama. I'm sure your husband is smiling down and very proud of the woman you've become.
Again, Happy anniversary. Love never dies!
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Dear Teowanna,
Seems to me your reflection is all the more proof that your husband did his job - to do his best by his wife. Fret not with any guilt my Dear. He knew what he was getting into when he proposed! As did you by accepting. There may have been unmet expectations but the bottom line - each of you knew you were marying one another and that comes with it's own territory. Both of you were put together for a reason - good or bad. Give it to GOD! He knows the heart! I bet Pop understood more than you know. Having said all that, now look around. Now how blessed are you????!!!
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Now that's a reflection for the ages! George Bernard Shaw once said that youth is wasted on the young. I have taken that statement to mean that many young people don't understand value. Sure, they can tell you how much the new Jordans cost or those chrome rims; but notice that these things lose value once purchased.
On the overhand, the value of a good friend is priceless. How about the value of good parents? And what about the value of good spouse? What can beat an investment returning double?
Our perception of value sharpens as we mature. Can you imagine what you'll be doing in the next 10 years? Who you'll become? I know in my spirit that your husband would have been proud. Proverbs 31:10 says "A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies." Delete Reply